Matthew Lam．Composer

Duration: 7’30”  

World Premiere:

21 APR 2021. Chung Chi Wind Orchestra 2021 Spring Concert, Lee Hysan Concert Hall, Hong Kong.

Performed by Chung Chi Wind Orchestra. 

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Program notes:

The music depicts the journey of a depressed man who yearns for death. With his conflicting emotions growing indefinitely, the hardships, and the melancholy in his mind, he could not stand such immense mental stress. Even though he tries to indulge himself in hope and dreams, he still could not endure his pain, that he finally seeks death as an extrication and commits suicide. With several failed attempts, he, of course, finally successfully freed himself from the world he hates to live in and sees angels flying around, welcoming, and bringing him to heaven. 

 

Speaking about the music, the piece opens with an atmospheric soundscape made by airy sounds, whistles, and percussion. In the midst of it, a melody (or scale) constructed by stacking two (0145) intervals are played, with the melody later being developed polyphonically, played by concurrently three instruments at most. Harmony is not prevalent until the latter part of the section. In the following section, brass dominates the music, with the rather consonant harmonies suggesting a dreamy atmosphere with a little sense of melancholy, while woodwinds act as countermelodies. The music then returns to the theme stated in the very beginning, with the countermelodies in the previous sections being developed. The theme, stated by the woodwinds, is interrupted by the powerful brass abruptly and desperately. After a brief return to the brassy section, which has more dissonant harmonies and more melancholic compared to the previous one, at last, a very immense crescendo made up of unforgivably repeated figures is essentially created and is being resolved into a blatantly consonant chord, whilst dying very quickly. 

 

「生まれて すみません」― 太宰治 

“I am so sorry for being born” - Osamu Dazai (Japanese author)